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Well today was the first 'What the fuck have I gotten myself into?!?' day at my new job. All things considered, I don't think that's too bad as I've been there 3 weeks now. I have to work on this HUGE project, co-lead one of the work teams, and have deadlines out the ass. The fact that the deadlines are a little too close for comfort is just more problematic.

I'm in good company though. My boss, who is truly brilliant, was also freaking out as she has a bazillion things to do. I truly feel for her and will do my best to support her in any way I can. She's awesome and I'm already feeling quite loyal to her.

I know that somehow the job will get done and that everything will be all right. I kept telling myself that earlier today and it helped prevent me from completely freaking the fuck out. Thankfully!

On a different note, the school has scheduled Noah's IEP for later this month. It seems like it's taken forever to complete it, but I know they got it going as quickly as they could. I'll be very interested in hearing what they have to say about his needs and ways we can meet them in the school setting. Thankfully, he continues to adjust and adapt to this new setting, bringing home good reports for the last week or so. That's truly amazing considering he was in the principal's office more often than not the first month of school. Oy. Kids and finances.

And finally, I'm feeling very lonely. Not for friends as I'm blessed with wonderful people in RL and on the internets; I'm so very grateful for my friends! I'm feeling terribly lonely for a romantic relationship. In lots of ways, it almost feels like I ache for one--just this constant pining thing sitting in my heart and soul. For a long time, I just wanted to get 'some,' but now it's transitioned into being more than that. I'm not sure if that is a good or bad thing. Either way, it's frustrating as there is no one available--not in my part of the world anyway. The great guys I meet are either gay (some of my favorites really) or married. Them's the pickings. I'll cope with my loneliness as usual, but wish that things could be different.


( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
Oct. 11th, 2007 04:17 pm (UTC)
I didn't know you had a new job! That's great, is it in the same co. or did you totally switch?

Re: men. I am convinced there are no men within 10 years of my age who are not gay, not married, or not weird as all fucking hell. And I'm not willing to settle, or find someone just for the sake of being able to go out on Saturday night; I'd rather stay home alone. My cats are more entertaining than forcing myself to make small talk with a someone unexciting.

I should have been a nun. Don't think I haven't thought about it lately. Good retirement plan too! Maybe when I'm about 65 I'll "join up" and then they'll take care of me until I die.
Oct. 11th, 2007 11:40 pm (UTC)
Yes, I'm still with the State of Kansas, working in the same department, KHPA. I've moved from a Human Service Specialist (drone work, but I loved it there) to the Family Medical Training and Outreach Manager. I'm making at least $14,000 a year more in this job and feel like I'm back on track professionally. I have a great boss and work in a fun unit, which I really appreciate since many of the other units are so freakishly quiet and serious. Ugh. I just can't smash myself into such a somber atmosphere.

I hear what you are saying about not being willing to settle. I've settled in my relationships with men for most of my life and it's just never worked out well. One of the things I miss greatly is just being touched and not in a sexual way. Don't get me wrong, I miss sex, but what I really hunger for is cuddling, or having my hair stroked, or being held--I can't really do any of those things for myself. But even then, I'd still rather be single and aching than in a relationship and miserable. I've had about enough of that shit to last a lifetime.

I'm surprised that you can't find anyone Meow--you're witty, intelligent, creative, and beautiful. Men don't know what they're missing out on, that's for sure. ;)

Oh yeah! I wanted to ask you about my VLC media files. For some reason, I can't get any of them to play?!? Ok, that's not exactly true as I can still get the audio only ones to work, but the videos don't open. WTF is going on here???

It's also nice chatting with you again! I've missed you!
Oct. 12th, 2007 01:53 pm (UTC)
I found your kiki bites blog through your comment on meaculpa g, and I find your humor, umm, intriguing, and way ahead of me on the risque scale.

I used to have a blogger site, but have long since moved to lj.

And, now, here, I envy your diversity.

Best, everette aka mel.

p.s. romantic and relationship are a difficult pair to find in one form

Oct. 12th, 2007 11:49 pm (UTC)
Yes, I'm pretty filthy in RL and on the internets. I haven't really written anything new for some time, but am hoping to get back in the habit of writing by journaling here.

I hear what you are saying about romantic relationships. I'm horrid at them. If only I could transfer the ease I have with friendships to romantic relationships, but it just doesn't work for me.

I'm requesting to friend you. Any friend of Mea's is a friend of mine. :)
Oct. 13th, 2007 12:53 am (UTC)
You're added, as well . . .

. . . since mea has helped me more than a prior imagined friend.
Oct. 13th, 2007 02:10 am (UTC)
Re: You're added, as well . . .
Yes, she's quite sweet and endearing as well.
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )

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